Whether our politicians want to admit it or not, the illegal alien (aka “illegal immigration”) problem is a hot button issue for many in our country. It is highly polarizing; some want it stopped immediately, others seem to think that we should fling our borders wide open to whoever wants to come without limits.

To me, this issue is greatly disturbing. I am disturbed by how little those on the left care about the laws of our country. If they think the laws are bad, one would think they would fight to change them. But I guess that is too much bother. Better simply to ignore them instead.

I am disturbed by those coming into our country illegally, who seem to think it their right to do so, and who also seem to find nothing wrong with simply setting up shop here and demanding the same social services as those who are citizens or legal alien residents.

I am disturbed by the government of Mexico, who encourages its citizens to do so, actively assists them in this endeavor, and complains loudly if we seek to restrict such behavior. I am extremely disturbed when the same government contends that it is the legal government for all Hispanics in the United States, even those who are American citizens.

I am disturbed by the history books in Mexico, which teach their children that the Southwestern United States really still belongs to Mexico, that the United States is illegally occupying it, and that some day it will be returned.

I am disturbed by the large scale protests, with people flying Mexican flags on U.S. soil (in at least one instance, removing the U.S. flag at a post office and replacing it with a Mexican flag), and loudly proclaiming “this is our country, gringo go home.”

Truly, there is a problem here. This much emotion is a powder keg simply waiting for a catalyst to set it off. Those that think that the Palestinian problem is endemic to Israel, that the IRA problem is endemic to England, and such things can never happen here might want to take another look.

My Hispanic friends tell me not to worry. No American of Hispanic descent in their right mind, they say, would ever want to be under Mexican rule. It will never come to that, they tell me.

So, I got to thinking. If I were Mexico, and wanted to regain the Southwestern United States, how would I go about doing it?

Mexico is not going to militarily invade the U.S. Such an invasion would last a few hours at best. Then the U.S. military would show up and put paid to that. There is no armed force in the world that is going to beat the U.S. military in open conflict on the field of battle, particularly here at home on U.S. soil.

A guerilla operation might work. Drawn out long enough, it might succeed, if the American public in the rest of the country got tired of it. However, messing around on U.S. soil is different from fighting a guerilla operation overseas in some place like Iraq or Vietnam. That might not work so well here. It is possible that the United States might find the best resolution of the problem to be rolling tanks to Mexico City. Obviously, that would be a very bad thing for the Mexican government.

So while ideas of this sort might take root amongst groups like MEChA, or La Raza, or other such organizations (and might give al Qaida wet dreams), it isn’t likely that the Mexican government would provide overt (or even covert) support for such activities.

But then again, why settle for just the southwestern United States, when you can have the whole enchilada? The best way for Mexico to not only regain its former territory, but take over the entire U.S. is for it to petition for statehood.

Mexico is a federal republic, the same as the United States. Its governmental structure is very similar to ours. It is comprised of 31 states, and if admitted to the union, it is likely that it would be admitted as 31 new states, rather than one single state called “Mexico”. In fact, such would be integral to the plan, since the more states created, the more power the former Mexico would accrue in the Senate.

Of course, this would mean that the president and vice president of Mexico would have to give up their power. Still, they can’t be in office forever, and I am sure that, politicians being politicians, a very nice deal could be cut with them, say a large amount of cash and other considerations. There would have to be new elections for senators and representatives for the newly admitted states, of course, and “golden parachutes” might have to be provided for some of the current crop of Mexican congresscritters to gain their support in eliminating their jobs. Mexico currently has 128 senators and 500 “representatives”, way more than the 31 new states would have in the “greater United States”.

What would be the advantages of admitting Mexico to the United States? Well, the “illegal immigration” problem would be quickly put to rest. There would no longer be any arguments about amnesty for illegals, since all former citizens of Mexico would now be U.S. citizens. Our southern border would greatly shrink as well. Instead of the long southern border with Mexico, we would now have a southern border with Guatemala and Belize; significantly shorter and easier to patrol.

We would also pick up Mexico’s large oil reserves and other natural resources. As well as lots of cheap labor; everyone could have their own gardener!

But the biggest advantage would be for the Democratic Party. In fact, this probably wouldn’t work except that the Democrats now hold both houses of Congress, and have a good shot at the White House in the coming election as well. Admitting Mexico to the union would give them a lock on power that they might not ever relinquish.

Thirty-one new states would mean 62 new Senators; pretty much all who could be expected to become Democrats. This would give them a veto-proof majority in the Senate. As for the house, even assuming we didn’t increase the number of representatives, the reapportionment that would occur would definitely favor the Democrats as well. Mexico has a population of around 109 million according to the CIA World Fact Book. U.S. population currently stands at about 302 million, according to the same source. This means the addition of about a third again as many citizens as we now have, most of whom being Hispanic, can reasonably be expected to vote Democrat.

So how, you may ask, can the United States reasonably expect to assimilate so many people all at once, particularly people with a different culture, who don’t even speak English?

To which I say, how politically incorrect! What are you, some kind of racist? We are already pretty much accepting Spanish as an “official” language here now. The ATM machines I use ask me if I want English or Spanish. Spanish language billboards are common around town. Ballots are printed in Spanish. We even have a “bilingual” Yellow Pages here in town, called “Mi Pueblo”. Insistence on English is so 20th century imperialistic.

So how does all this translate into Mexican “reconquista” of the southwest, and ultimately the conquest of the entire United States? Well, as long as you don’t care if the country is called “Mexico” or not, but are more interested in who is actually running it, the answer is simple; demographics.

As it is, the papers are already full of articles on how the Hispanic demographic within the United States is the one to cater to. Hispanic birth rates are largely responsible for the fact that the fertility rate for the U.S. is a still healthy 2.09 (hovering on the edge of replacement) rather than the demographically disastrous 1.3 to 1.6 rates currently seen in Europe. Most of the states in the southwestern United States will become (if they aren’t already) Hispanic majority states by 2030 or so as it is. If you add the current estimated 41 million American citizens of Hispanic descent to the estimated 109 million new Hispanic citizens, you get a Hispanic population in the greater United States of 150 million out of 411 million total citizens, or approximately 36%.

Mexico has a fertility rate of 2.39. Admit Mexico to the Union, and by 2050 or so (certainly by 2100), the United States will become a Hispanic majority country. Conquest will be complete. And of course, once you are the majority, you can call the country anything you like. You can keep the name “The United States” for historical reasons if you wish, or you can change it to “Mexico” for nostalgic purposes if you so desire.

Of course, we are not a pure democracy, but rather, a republic. Thus, just because the majority of citizens in the country are Hispanic, does not mean that the majority of the states have a Hispanic majority population. Still, the demographics will tend to weight the electoral college in that direction (California and Texas two of the largest states population-wise, and thus heavily weighted in the electoral college, are already Hispanic majority states), so whereas all the states may not be Hispanic majority states, the point will in fact be moot.

So it seems, the best strategy for Mexico may be one of “if you can’t beat them, join them.” After that, it is just a matter of time. As the Borg would say, “Resistance is futile; you will be assimilated”.